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Missy Elliott Taught Me That It Was Okay For A Fat Woman To Feel Desire
In 1997, Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott released Supa Dupa Fly (you can check the whole thing out on YouTube), a debut studio album that quickly went platinum. It was pretty immediately recognized for the...
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I Cried on a Bus Over "Fresh Off the Boat"
I’m crying on a bus. I’ve been on this bus for 15 hours and I’m tired, achy, and emotional. Possibly the worst place to cry, but I’m so frustrated.I’m crying because I’ve just read “Bamboo Ceiling TV",...
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Weekend Challenge: It's Time For A Month Of Letters
About a year ago, I wrote about how to find a penpal and this thing called A Month of Letters. I am still writing back to people, which blows my mind and, occasionally, all of my ability to hold a pen...
View Article'InStyle‘s' Fatal Lightening Mistake: Why Kerry Washington’s Cover Is a Big Deal
Kerry Washington covered the lightened March issue of InStyle. In real life, where people have their own skin, that’s not her skin tone. People are understandably upset.Magazine readers have gotten way...
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How Not to Hand Over Your Entire Paycheck Next Time You Go to the Salon
Visiting a salon should be somewhat therapeutic and relaxing, not stressful or overwhelming. A common reason for avoiding salon visits is fear of intimidation — that your stylist will pressure you into...
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These Are The Only 5 Rules You Must Obey When You Argue With Your Spouse
It’s a moody winter day, but when the alarm goes off my husband bounds out of bed. He’s excited because we are going on vacation. It’s going to be a nice weekend with friends in the country. I wake up...
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Why Vaccination Refusal Is a White Privilege Problem
Vaccines work. Anti-vaxxers will argue otherwise, but if they’re given airtime, this will degenerate — like most vaccine discourse — into comparative science, misinformation, name-calling, and finally...
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IT HAPPENED TO ME: My Husband Directed Me in a Love Scene With Another Man
He leaned in. I could feel his breath on my lips, his hair tickled my forehead. We hardly knew each other. It was thrilling. When we finally kissed, it was playful at first, then something sparked and...
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You Need These Books By Black Women on Your YA Shelves
Yay, it's both Black History Month and Women's History Month. Now that we're all grown-ups, we aren't going to be subjected to syrupy and distorted versions of "history" in special learning activities...
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I Got My Hair Cut In Japan and It Was AWESOME
I got a hair cut! Weeeeee!Me with freshly cut hair! I've been dying to get a hair cut for a while, but have been putting it off because I live in Japan and I was terrified I wouldn't be able...
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IT HAPPENED TO ME: My Ex-Boyfriend Came to the Play I Wrote About Our...
In general, I found college to be awkward and mostly useless (so imagine how glad I am to be $30,000 in debt for it). I quickly realized I wasn’t interested in competing with my lit classes over who...
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"Fresh Off The Boat" Made Me Realize My Parents Aren’t Crazy
My grandmother and me. Last Wednesday, Fresh Off the Boat premiered on ABC Family and became the first mainstream network show to feature an Asian-American family in 20 years. Based on the...
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Obsessive 24/7 Texting From a Partner or Ex Isn't Cute
So often, it takes a book to have the inner “a-ha!” moment. For me, that book was the anthology The Revolution Starts at Home: Confronting Intimate Violence Within Activist Communities (South End...
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Japan Knows Skin Care, So I Put Snail Essence, Bee Venom, and Snake Venom on...
My skin has been the texture of sadness lately. Even after visiting the Onsen (natural hot spring) a few times, with all its "silkening water" magic, the skin on my face has reverted back to a dry,...
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IT HAPPENED TO ME: My Boyfriend Plagiarized My Valentine's Day Gift
As I reached into my pocket for my chapstick, my fingers brushed against a tiny scrap of paper. Brandon* had an endlessly endearing habit of leaving me little notes everywhere: my sunglass case, under...
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The Ageist Madonna Bashing Needs to Stop
So photographs of Madonna’s Givenchy butt are flooding news outlets. It is as perky as Brad Goreski at a sample sale at eight in the morning, but people are telling her to dress her age.We’ve seen...
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STYLE DILEMMA: What the Hell Do You Wear With Dressy Sweatpants?
"I need to know what to wear with a dressy pair of sweatpants,"Emily recently asked me. I feel like this is the defining style question of our generation. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration — but don't...
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WORST ROOMMATE EVER: She Asked Me for Group Sex and Then Stole the TV
Call to action! Share your embarrassing MySpace photos!The first red flag should have been that her name was fake. I wish I could print it, because it was ridiculous and I have never heard of anyone...
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IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Married an HIV-Positive Man, and He Took Care of Me When...
Theo and I. When I eloped to Key West in 1998 with an HIV-positive guy 20 years older than me, it seemed like a laughably bad decision. This, my friends and family warned, would not end well....
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I Was a Black-Sheep Southern Debutante
All done up and clearly thrilled.I am not a stereotypical debutante — but let me back up. If you’re not from the South (or you missed that one Gilmore Girls episode), you may not know that a debutante...
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