How To Date Your Smartphone
This was supposed to be an essay about romantic relationships, but every time I began typing I would get distracted by this other dysfunctional relationship I'm dealing with -- the relationship I have...
View ArticleDISPATCHES FROM THE PROZAC RABBIT HOLE: When I Drunk-Texted My Ex On...
I was drunk in the casino on the eve of Christmas Eve demanding that this guy love me via text message. Calling the place a casino is being a bit generous. It’s only got slot machines and one expansive...
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Rinse Your Hair with Champagne Like a Bitchy Rich Girl
There's pretty much nothing I won't do, try, or buy as part of my lifetime quest for ever-more-perfect hair. When it comes to my hair, I'm picky about the method in which I wash it, the water I use to...
View ArticleCure Your Post Holiday Blues With 5 of 2014’s Funniest Fashion Videos
Believe it or not, sometimes the fashion industry takes a pause from being all “everybody should be cool and skinny!!!!” to being all “hey, let’s put down our Starbucks and stop frowning for a minute...
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IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Survived my First Three Years of Teaching, and You Can Too
Dear New(ish) Teachers:Laugh. A lot. If you don’t, teaching will eat you alive. Start keeping track of the funny things your students say and do. These will keep you in high(er) spirits during the low...
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How I Got Over My Fear Of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
On November 21st, three years ago, I walked in the door of my therapist’s office for the first time. I didn’t know she was going to be “my therapist,” or that I’d go to see her almost weekly for the...
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Sex Shouldn't Hurt, But Here's Why It Might
Sex is supposed to be a pleasurable experience, but sometimes it hurts like hell. In fact, many women will experience painful sex at some point in their lives. Fortunately, the reasons for painful sex...
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Confessing About My Eating Disorder Led to the Biggest Disappointment of My Life
I had spent weeks — months — gathering the courage to tell him the truth… a horrifying truth. When I finally became brave enough, when I finally said it aloud, he wasn’t there to catch me.I was once...
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"Excuse Me, Is My Echolalia Bothering You?" Or, How NYC Isn't Very Nice To...
I moved to New York City a little over a year ago with my boyfriend Patrick and our best friend from college, Josh. We’ve been fortunate; we find success about as often as we get our asses kicked by...
View ArticlePlay-Doh Recalls Penis-Shaped Toy After Facebook Uproar
Welcome to the first edition of xoNews in 2015. Today we have an update on the devastating suicide of Leelah Alcorn, including an interview with her mother and an additional cry for help we just...
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How President Obama's New Immigration Policy Is Going to Change My Life
For as long as I can remember, I knew that my parents were undocumented. Growing up in New York City, so many of the people around me were undocumented I didn't really know what it meant. But, as I got...
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GROSS-OUT FRIDAYS: I Went To The ER To Get A Keeper Un-stuck From My Vagina
I had turned to The Keeper in search of a safer, more natural form of “feminine hygiene.” I’d decided that a latex, chemical-free menstrual cup was the healthiest way to manage my crimson tide. I...
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"Why Is My Curriculum White?" Is Exactly The Question We Should Be Asking...
The hardest thing I was ever tasked with reading in a history course was Edward Said’s Orientalism. I dropped the course because it was totally over my head. That says a lot.White men still constitute...
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I Am Self-Surrendering to Prison Today, Which Seems Like a Fitting Time To...
Kristin DavisI'm self-surrendering today to serve a prison sentence of two years -- not for prostitution but for accepting payment for prescription pills I gave to a friend who turned out to be a...
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The 8 Strangest Catcalls/Pick-up Lines I’ve Ever Heard and Been Confused By
I'm a single gal in my mid-20s who can wear a tight dress somewhat decently. My friends can do it even better. Like most ladies out there, we're often the recipients of cat-calling/bad pick-up lines....
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IT HAPPENED TO ME: An Escalator Tried to Eat My Dress
Seasoned authors like to grouse about the perils of book tours: the drudgery of delayed flights, the fear their books won’t arrive in time to sell at the event, the indignity of reading to a...
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The Real Reason Fashion Labels Are Failing Plus-Size Women
Contrary to public perception, fashion designers do not hate plus-size customers. Full-figured fashion fans have been always been frustrated by the lack of selection from their favorite brands, and I...
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This Is The First Open Thread of 2015, and It Wants You!
Welcome to 2015, xoJane folks. How was your New Year's Eve? Did you go out and party until sunrise? Did you kiss at midnight? Or did you eat snacks in bed and fall asleep before 11? For the new year,...
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3 Completely Calming Things I'm Into Lately
My life is deadline driven. Both my day job and my weekend stuff at xoJane involve a neverending series of rolling due dates -- I'd say they were like the tide but the tide goes out sometimes and...
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It Happened To Me: I Grew Up Jehovah's Witness
The first time he asked me to sit in his lap a wave of nausea and terror flooded my body. I knew it was wrong but everyone was waiting. He was sitting in an armchair at my aunt’s house, our family...
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